I seem to keep things to myself.
I keep a lot of emotion locked up inside. I don't let a lot of people in and when I do, I cling to them so they will not go. I know I have some emotional problems that I have to deal with daily.
I know that there are some psychological issues that will never go away.
I try to find the good in people until they crush any hope of goodness I have for them.
I will help most people. Sometimes at my own expense. Like going so far out of my way to take a friend home, as to make myself late or not be able to show up at all for whatever I had planned that day.
I know that my relationships with people are a little messed up. That things I might think about how people feel about me might be WAAAAYYY off. I tend to almost smother close friends. And feeling personally hurt when their lives get too busy to involve me for a period of time. Even tho it has nothing to do with me at all. Everyone has a life. Some might pass over of by ours. But my life is not the only one that needs living.
I tend to get a little too emotionally attached to some members of the opposite sex. knowing this has helped me avoid a few uncomfortable situations. Female co-workers that I get a little too excited to see.
This has not led to anything physical. Everyone knows I am married and to them I am just the "dirty old man".
But I have to know the boundaries. I have to keep in mind, that many phrases, looks, or actions can be taken the wrong way.
I act like a kid a little too much for my wife's liking. Growing up is one of the hardest things I am trying to do. I may never be the "adult" most think I should.
But this is who I am. This is who you have to accept.
I do not know what the future holds. But I do know this.
I am going to keep living like I know what I am doing and remember to every now and then, take a look inside.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Evolution of a Daddy's Driving
I know how it is when you are young and full of energy.
Full of vim and vigor.
Bursting at the seams.
Just waiting to get out there. Show off for your friends. Impress the girls. Scare your parents.
You just got your drivers license.
You get in the car. Fasten your seat belt. Wave to your mother. Promise to be home at 9pm. ( 10pm )
Check your mirrors. Then carefully pull out of the driveway. Smile and wave again as you pull away.
Watch in the mirrors until you turn the corner at the end of the block. Parents are now home. You are free.
The accelerator gets smashed to the floor. Old Mrs.Windham dives for cover. Little Timmy's soccer ball will never score again. But that's only the beginning. As you pull into the 7-11 and buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in your cup-holder. You peel out of the parking lot to your friend's house.
Where you calmly tell his mother that you will have him home by 9:30. That the movie is rated PG. There will be no girls there. And he reminds his mother that he needs money for the movie.
You drive like a lunatic up and down the strip showing off your new ride. While your friend hangs out the window. You buy as much candy as you can carry. Sneak in the back door to the R-rated movie that just came out. Then try to get to second base with the girls you met there. Then make it home before your mom sends out a search party for you. Yup. Grounded. Not the last time.
A few speeding tickets later and maybe a small fender bender. That takes care of High School.
College is a little different. There's one of two ways to go. You could be the responsible one. Being the DD at parties. Going to bed early. Driving a little fast, but not taking too many chances.
OR...... You have to turn your keys over when you walk in the door. The next morning you make it home, but that's not your car in the driveway. You find your car in the bushes at the local McDonald's. You try not to get pulled over for a DWI while driving to class in the morning. Your parents refuse to pay for your insurance anymore. Or the tickets that caused it to go up.
Now you get married. You have someone else in the car with you now.
She will hold her breath when you go around corners too fast. Stomp her foot on the floor when you get too close to the guy in front of you. Your driving gets a little better. Just one ticket.
Thank goodness she wasn't in the car when it happened.
You decide to have kids. Now there is another person in the car. She looks like your wife. She smiles when you talk to her. Giggles when you tickle her chin. Your shoulder is her favorite place to sleep. You have to check on her five times before you go to bed.
You find yourself driving the speed limit. Or under. It actually takes you more than 5 minutes to get out of your street. You curse the guy who just flew by on the shoulder. Laughing when he gets pulled over.
Yelling when the bass in the car next to you is rattling your windows.
Driving one-handed means she dropped her pacifier. Looking behind you means she was crying.
The cooler riding shotgun has been replaced by a bag of diapers and wipes. The bottle of beer is now a bottle of warm milk.
The Evolution of a Daddy's Driving Does not end there.
Just think how much fun it will be to smash the accelerator to the floor. Drive at just over the speed limit. Buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in the car. Get all the candy you can carry. Buy two tickets for the new PG13 Movie. Sit there with your friend.
Full of vim and vigor.
Bursting at the seams.
Just waiting to get out there. Show off for your friends. Impress the girls. Scare your parents.
You just got your drivers license.
You get in the car. Fasten your seat belt. Wave to your mother. Promise to be home at 9pm. ( 10pm )
Check your mirrors. Then carefully pull out of the driveway. Smile and wave again as you pull away.
Watch in the mirrors until you turn the corner at the end of the block. Parents are now home. You are free.
The accelerator gets smashed to the floor. Old Mrs.Windham dives for cover. Little Timmy's soccer ball will never score again. But that's only the beginning. As you pull into the 7-11 and buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in your cup-holder. You peel out of the parking lot to your friend's house.
Where you calmly tell his mother that you will have him home by 9:30. That the movie is rated PG. There will be no girls there. And he reminds his mother that he needs money for the movie.
You drive like a lunatic up and down the strip showing off your new ride. While your friend hangs out the window. You buy as much candy as you can carry. Sneak in the back door to the R-rated movie that just came out. Then try to get to second base with the girls you met there. Then make it home before your mom sends out a search party for you. Yup. Grounded. Not the last time.
A few speeding tickets later and maybe a small fender bender. That takes care of High School.
College is a little different. There's one of two ways to go. You could be the responsible one. Being the DD at parties. Going to bed early. Driving a little fast, but not taking too many chances.
OR...... You have to turn your keys over when you walk in the door. The next morning you make it home, but that's not your car in the driveway. You find your car in the bushes at the local McDonald's. You try not to get pulled over for a DWI while driving to class in the morning. Your parents refuse to pay for your insurance anymore. Or the tickets that caused it to go up.
Now you get married. You have someone else in the car with you now.
She will hold her breath when you go around corners too fast. Stomp her foot on the floor when you get too close to the guy in front of you. Your driving gets a little better. Just one ticket.
Thank goodness she wasn't in the car when it happened.
You decide to have kids. Now there is another person in the car. She looks like your wife. She smiles when you talk to her. Giggles when you tickle her chin. Your shoulder is her favorite place to sleep. You have to check on her five times before you go to bed.
You find yourself driving the speed limit. Or under. It actually takes you more than 5 minutes to get out of your street. You curse the guy who just flew by on the shoulder. Laughing when he gets pulled over.
Yelling when the bass in the car next to you is rattling your windows.
Driving one-handed means she dropped her pacifier. Looking behind you means she was crying.
The cooler riding shotgun has been replaced by a bag of diapers and wipes. The bottle of beer is now a bottle of warm milk.
The Evolution of a Daddy's Driving Does not end there.
Just think how much fun it will be to smash the accelerator to the floor. Drive at just over the speed limit. Buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in the car. Get all the candy you can carry. Buy two tickets for the new PG13 Movie. Sit there with your friend.
And be the coolest Grandpa ever.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Timeshare Wife
I have a timeshare wife
No, this does not mean I am on the wrong side of a Big Love episode.
It just means that I have to share my wife with the other parts of her life.
It wasn't all at one. This came on very gradually.
After we got married, I just had to share her with her job.
After work and weekends were mine.
That was fine. Make the money. You still come home to me.
After a few years, she got a different job.
This required her to remain at work a little longer some days.
But that was fine. I still got her after work and on the weekends.
All Mine.
A couple years later Princess came along.
I quit my job to stay home with her.
And while I had all the time I needed with our daughter, this means that I now had to share my wife with someone else.
Evenings and weekends were no longer just mine.
As the schedule was, we still had plenty of time after Princess went to bed and she took naps every now and then. I had some quality time with her the Warden.
Okay, but lock the door.
Then we decide it's time to have another child.
We plan, save a little and Monkey comes out.
My little mini me. He was easy going. Not a big bother.
He takes life as it comes. Hardly cried at all.
Wait....are they BOTH asleep?
Lock the door.
Then the Warden got laid off.
She had plenty of notice and got a bonus for staying until the end.
So she took a few weeks away from work before starting the new job. (I worked more)
We had some nice family time together.
I also got a little snip. Easy to do. A bag of peas and a few movies to watch. Two days of bed-rest.
Crap, I hear one of them coming. Open the door and let them sleep with us.
A few years have passed. The little ones are now 4 and 9.
They try to stay up late. They want to watch T.V. Play on the Nintendo DS. Sleep in Mommy's bed.
I now have to contend with Girl Scouts. And Monkey keeps saying he wants to join Boy Scouts.
Sports are going to be a factor. And I am on the PTA Board at Princess' school.
The Warden is sick of her job. Comes home late and tired.
The half hour commute does not help. And that's in good weather.
I try to squeeze in some time alone with The Warden when I can.
A little kiss here. A longer hug there. Just to show her that she is still beautiful.
Yes, I know that it's a sappy thing to say. But I'm going to be stuck... er. Graced with her presence for years to come.
I might as well have someone I think is sexy on the other side of the table to look at.
Honey. Wake up. It's not really enjoyable if you're asleep.
Yes, I locked the door.
Well, life will go on. We will make the best of it. We will thrill at their every achievement. Comfort with every spill. Wipe away tears at every milestone.
And bawl our eyes out when they leave for college.
But at least then I will have the woman of my dreams all to myself.
We will watch some T.V. Read a lot of books. Have many nice quiet dinners. And drive each other crazy.
Finally alone. Don't worry about the door.
No, this does not mean I am on the wrong side of a Big Love episode.
It just means that I have to share my wife with the other parts of her life.
It wasn't all at one. This came on very gradually.
After we got married, I just had to share her with her job.
After work and weekends were mine.
That was fine. Make the money. You still come home to me.
After a few years, she got a different job.
This required her to remain at work a little longer some days.
But that was fine. I still got her after work and on the weekends.
All Mine.
A couple years later Princess came along.
I quit my job to stay home with her.
And while I had all the time I needed with our daughter, this means that I now had to share my wife with someone else.
Evenings and weekends were no longer just mine.
As the schedule was, we still had plenty of time after Princess went to bed and she took naps every now and then. I had some quality time with her the Warden.
Okay, but lock the door.
Then we decide it's time to have another child.
We plan, save a little and Monkey comes out.
My little mini me. He was easy going. Not a big bother.
He takes life as it comes. Hardly cried at all.
Wait....are they BOTH asleep?
Lock the door.
Then the Warden got laid off.
She had plenty of notice and got a bonus for staying until the end.
So she took a few weeks away from work before starting the new job. (I worked more)
We had some nice family time together.
I also got a little snip. Easy to do. A bag of peas and a few movies to watch. Two days of bed-rest.
Crap, I hear one of them coming. Open the door and let them sleep with us.
A few years have passed. The little ones are now 4 and 9.
They try to stay up late. They want to watch T.V. Play on the Nintendo DS. Sleep in Mommy's bed.
I now have to contend with Girl Scouts. And Monkey keeps saying he wants to join Boy Scouts.
Sports are going to be a factor. And I am on the PTA Board at Princess' school.
The Warden is sick of her job. Comes home late and tired.
The half hour commute does not help. And that's in good weather.
I try to squeeze in some time alone with The Warden when I can.
A little kiss here. A longer hug there. Just to show her that she is still beautiful.
Yes, I know that it's a sappy thing to say. But I'm going to be stuck... er. Graced with her presence for years to come.
I might as well have someone I think is sexy on the other side of the table to look at.
Honey. Wake up. It's not really enjoyable if you're asleep.
Yes, I locked the door.
Well, life will go on. We will make the best of it. We will thrill at their every achievement. Comfort with every spill. Wipe away tears at every milestone.
And bawl our eyes out when they leave for college.
But at least then I will have the woman of my dreams all to myself.
We will watch some T.V. Read a lot of books. Have many nice quiet dinners. And drive each other crazy.
Finally alone. Don't worry about the door.
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