Timeshare Wife

I have a timeshare wife
No, this does not mean I am on the wrong side of a Big Love episode.
It just means that I have to share my wife with the other parts of her life.
It wasn't all at one.  This came on very gradually.

After we got married, I just had to share her with her job.
After work and weekends were mine.
That was fine.  Make the money.  You still come home to me.

After a few years, she got a different job.
This required her to remain at work a little longer some days.
But that was fine.  I still got her after work and on the weekends.
All Mine.

A couple years later Princess came along.
I quit my job to stay home with her.
And while I had all the time I needed with our daughter, this means that I now had to share my wife with someone else.
Evenings and weekends were no longer just mine.
As the schedule was, we still had plenty of time after Princess went to bed and she took naps every now and then.  I had some quality time with her the Warden.

Okay, but lock the door.

Then we decide it's time to have another child.
We plan, save a little and Monkey comes out.
My little mini me.  He was easy going.  Not a big bother.
He takes life as it comes.  Hardly cried at all.

Wait....are they BOTH asleep?
Lock the door.

Then the Warden got laid off.
She had plenty of notice and got a bonus for staying until the end.
So she took a few weeks away from work before starting the new job. (I worked more)
We had some nice family time together.
I also got a little snip.  Easy to do.  A bag of peas and a few movies to watch.  Two days of bed-rest.

Crap, I hear one of them coming.  Open the door and let them sleep with us.

A few years have passed.  The little ones are now 4 and 9.
They try to stay up late.  They want to watch T.V.  Play on the Nintendo DS. Sleep in Mommy's bed.
I now have to contend with Girl Scouts.  And Monkey keeps saying he wants to join Boy Scouts.
Sports are going to be a factor.  And I am on the PTA Board at Princess' school.
The Warden is sick of her job. Comes home late and tired.
The half hour commute does not help.  And that's in good weather.
I try to squeeze in some time alone with The Warden when I can.
A little kiss here.  A longer hug there.  Just to show her that she is still beautiful.
Yes, I know that it's a sappy thing to say.  But I'm going to be stuck... er. Graced with her presence for years to come.
I might as well have someone I think is sexy on the other side of the table to look at.

Honey.  Wake up.  It's not really enjoyable if you're asleep.
Yes, I locked the door.

Well, life will go on.  We will make the best of it.  We will thrill at their every achievement.  Comfort with every spill.  Wipe away tears at every milestone.
And bawl our eyes out when they leave for college.
But at least then I will have the woman of my dreams all to myself.
We will watch some T.V.  Read a lot of books.  Have many nice quiet dinners.  And drive each other crazy.

Finally alone.  Don't worry about the door.

Lost Friends

We all have them.
Some of us are in denial.
No, it doesn't matter that you friended them on Facebook.
Or they sent you a message on MYSPACE.
They are gone.  Lost to time and relative space.

These are the friends that you grew up with.
You spent the night at their house.
You tormented your siblings by saying you told your friend they liked them. I mean "LIKED" them.
You tormented their parents by showing up unannounced to go on their vacation with them.
These are the buddies you got detention with.
Caught frogs with.   Shot roman candles at each other.  Could both ride your bikes without hands.
Pick something.  I bet you had a friend you did that with.

But where are they now?
Did they move?  Get a new job?  Get married?  Get divorced?
Spouse can't stand them?  Kids hate them?
Or does your family not even know they exist?
No. Bobby the Wolfboy, your imaginary friend when you were five does not count.

Your friend is gone.  You never see them.

I had a few friends like that.  I knew them in school.
I knew their family.  I played with their brother's and sisters.
I loved their parents almost like my own.
These friends are gone now.

No, don't read the wrong thing into it, they are still alive.
But I haven't seen any of them in years.
I even follow one on Twitter.

But like so many things in the world, life gets in the way.
I have my life and they have theirs.  That is what time does.
I saw one a few months after my daughter was born.
I told him I was staying home with her.
He said something to the effect that I was now the "bitch"
I couldn't care if I saw him for awhile.

As for the "relative space" I mentioned earlier.
I have a friend who was living only a few blocks from me.
But he never stopped by.  Even though he helped me move into our house.
He now still lives only a couple of miles away.  But he still hasn't taken me up on the offer of a beer.
I sent him a message in May of '09.
Did I mention that he was the Best Man at my wedding?

It saddens me to think that friends come and go so easily.
Reach out to someone from your past.  Share a pitcher of beer and re-hash old times.
While you may not see them again for awhile, you may find you still have something in common.
Even if it is just a fond remembrance of that Farrah Fawcett poster in your bedroom.

I have gotten some new friends since school.  And I hope they will be around for a long time.
( I need someone to help me move again)

I am surrounded by people who appreciate me for who I have become, and respect me for what I do.
These are the friends to have.

Too Late and Tired

Want to know what happens when I sit down to write a post at 1:30 in the morning after working a 12hr shift?   Random thoughts running into each other.  Random memories flowing through my brain.
A random poem.
So here's the poem.  There are good many memories or thoughts attached to every line.
Your's will be different.  But I hope this stirs some memories for you.

Randomness
The kids will want to play all day.
I'm looking for another way.
I have no love of being by myself.
I want to know what's on the shelf.
I do not want this life to end.
I remember very well how their's began.
I remember little toes.
The wrinkled up little nose.
The fingers grabbing for my hand.
The feet walking in the sand.
The laughter from the smiling mouth.
Now silence greets me in this house.
I have no where to go from here.
I still have the same shoes from last year.
My mind seems not to be at ease.
Would you be able to help me please?
I have a worry I can't say.
Will this last another day?
I watch the tv on and on.
I stay up from dusk to dawn.
So I might be missing something out there.
But I hide here in my chair.
Looking out among the leaves.
Hoping, hoping, it doesn't freeze.
Now I am off to bed.
Knowing that this is all in my head.
I hope to dream of happy places.
And seeing friends and happy faces.
So to you all I say good night.
May you find your peace and light.