I have a timeshare wife
No, this does not mean I am on the wrong side of a Big Love episode.
It just means that I have to share my wife with the other parts of her life.
It wasn't all at one. This came on very gradually.
After we got married, I just had to share her with her job.
After work and weekends were mine.
That was fine. Make the money. You still come home to me.
After a few years, she got a different job.
This required her to remain at work a little longer some days.
But that was fine. I still got her after work and on the weekends.
A couple years later Princess came along.
I quit my job to stay home with her.
And while I had all the time I needed with our daughter, this means that I now had to share my wife with someone else.
Evenings and weekends were no longer just mine.
As the schedule was, we still had plenty of time after Princess went to bed and she took naps every now and then. I had some quality time with her the Warden.
Okay, but lock the door.
Then we decide it's time to have another child.
We plan, save a little and Monkey comes out.
My little mini me. He was easy going. Not a big bother.
He takes life as it comes. Hardly cried at all.
Wait....are they BOTH asleep?
Lock the door.
Then the Warden got laid off.
She had plenty of notice and got a bonus for staying until the end.
So she took a few weeks away from work before starting the new job. (I worked more)
We had some nice family time together.
I also got a little snip. Easy to do. A bag of peas and a few movies to watch. Two days of bed-rest.
Crap, I hear one of them coming. Open the door and let them sleep with us.
A few years have passed. The little ones are now 4 and 9.
They try to stay up late. They want to watch T.V. Play on the Nintendo DS. Sleep in Mommy's bed.
I now have to contend with Girl Scouts. And Monkey keeps saying he wants to join Boy Scouts.
Sports are going to be a factor. And I am on the PTA Board at Princess' school.
The Warden is sick of her job. Comes home late and tired.
The half hour commute does not help. And that's in good weather.
I try to squeeze in some time alone with The Warden when I can.
A little kiss here. A longer hug there. Just to show her that she is still beautiful.
Yes, I know that it's a sappy thing to say. But I'm going to be stuck... er. Graced with her presence for years to come.
I might as well have someone I think is sexy on the other side of the table to look at.
Honey. Wake up. It's not really enjoyable if you're asleep.
Yes, I locked the door.
Well, life will go on. We will make the best of it. We will thrill at their every achievement. Comfort with every spill. Wipe away tears at every milestone.
And bawl our eyes out when they leave for college.
But at least then I will have the woman of my dreams all to myself.
We will watch some T.V. Read a lot of books. Have many nice quiet dinners. And drive each other crazy.
Finally alone. Don't worry about the door.