Thursday, April 29, 2010

When Life Gets in the Way

My name is Chuckles and I have a Gaming problem.

What? No not Gambling, Gaming.
Wrong room? In the basement? No, I'll leave.

Here it is. Man, it's dark down here.

*creaking door*
My name is Chuckles and I have a Gaming problem.

(*Hello Charles*)

I have had a gaming problem for 30 years.
Yes Frank, that's right.
Atari 2600.
The first taste of exhilaration .
Donkey Kong, PacMan, and many others, all in my own home.
Get up early.
Stay up late.

Six hours on two-player Defender with my brother.
I can't remember if we eventually lost our fighters, or just stopped.

Then Nintendo. Mario in his own game! Zelda!
I look back now and think. Man the graphics Suck!!
But at the time I it was. "Man, this is AWESOME!!!!!"

Then, Sega Genesis. PC games. Then, Playstation.
Now I have....
All of them. Wii. PS3. XBOX360. And I even play MMORPG.

I had a game going on the computer.
I was doing good.
Space game. Getting lots of ships. Hoarding my planets.
Protecting from invaders.

Then I went to work.
Gotta make the money.

They struck when I was unawares.
I let my guard down.
Lif. got in the way.

My ships are gone.
My planets are plundered.
My rank has diminished.

Time to get back on that horse.
Enemies beware. My new fleet of ships will get you.
Just give me a couple months.

And tell the kids to leave me alone.

Ok. Give me a year.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Jogging is Death

It will be fun! (They said)
It's for a good cause! (They said)
What is it? (I asked tentatively)

A run. It's called The Brew to Brew run.
It's to promote Cystic Fibrosis research.
The race is from the Brewery in the city to a bar in another city.

How far? (worried)

43 miles! It's split into ten parts.
You only have to run one.

Whew! that sounds good. I'm in for a good cause.
Hossman is in! (He'll be the driver.)
It's The Teacher's idea, and he is pushing for more to join.
The Realtor and wife are in. Always up for a good cause.
Others join. It should be a fun time.

I need to start getting in shape. This should be easy.
I will start tomorrow.
It's raining.
I will start tomorrow.
I'm tired.
I will start tomorrow.
Hossman came over for games.
I will start tomorrow.
I don't want to.
I will start tomorrow.
Who am I kidding?
I will start tomorrow.
I will start tomorrow.

What do you mean the race is next Sunday?
We have to start at what time? 6am?!?!?!?!?!

Here we go. Up at 4:30. Meet at the brewery at 5:30.
Race seen off at 6am sharp.

Drive to the first pit stop while cheering on the runners.

Switch the runners.

Drive to the next pit stop.

So it goes.

Wait..... I'm next? Ok. How long is my leg? 2.3 miles. The shortest.
Ok. I can do this. Got my music on. A snack in my belly. I'm good.

Baton is handed off.
Off I go. First 100 yards. No problem.
Second 100 yards. Not too bad.
Almost to a quarter mile!


What is this pain??????? People do this for FUN????
Ok. Walk a little. Legs are better. Start to jog again.

OW. OW. OW. OW. OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!!!!!!!

Walk again.
Oooh! Nice looking women going by. Think I'll jog some more.
Good comment on shirt.

Ok. Ok. OK. OW! OW! OW! OW!
Walk some more.


Why couldn't I have just ridden with Hossman?????

Almost to the end.

I can see the next stop!

Pass the baton. Grab some water!

Ride the rest of the day.

Our group finished with a time of 8:14:31.
Not bad for a new group.

Make empty promise to do this again next year.

Go home to die.
Hope I can move tomorrow.

Winter is Over

Well, it had to happen. Winter is over.
The sun is shining and the birds are flying around again.
People are out walking and the shorts come out from storage.
It's a good thing, right?

The grass is growing, the weeds are growing.
And with the sun out, you can see how dirty the patio really is.
How high the dead sticks pile up.
And how nasty the house got during the snow.

I go to work. Then I get home in the afternoon to relax, and enjoy a little peace and quiet.
Right? Wrong again.
The Warden orders the powerwasher. Torture? Almost.

The patio looks great now.
But the tall grass is keeping the water from running off.
Tomorrow? Please? Honey?

Pity is given. I shall put it off as long as possible.
She can't watch me all the time.