Friday, July 10, 2009

Kid again. For a night.

I am a kid again. Not a care in the world.
It's Saturday night and I get to light fireworks!
Not the little crappy ones you get when you are a kid.
I'm talking about the ones that come with five different safety warnings, a hazmat suit, and a written disclaimer to sign, saying that if you are dumb enough to hold this when it goes off.....
Well, let's just say you won't be writing any letters to the company.
I bought a butane lighter just for tonight.
Blue fire, very hot.... won't light. Cheap piece of shit.
Get out the candle lighter.
Drop mortar into tube. (yes I said mortar)
Light the fuse.
Walk 5 steps.
Cover ears.
Look up while blinking cause I looked when it took off.
(Ooohh, AAhhhh)
Repeat 5 times.

Can't see the family due to the barn in-between us.
After walking back to the house with singed fingers, missing part of beard, and blind from powder flash.
Find that half have gone inside.
The other half thought it would be rude to have me walk back and find I had been deserted.

Now I have to drive home so I can sleep and work a double the next day while wife and kids get to enjoy MY mom's pool. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Next year, I'm buying snappers.

Or gunpowder.

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